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Tuesday, March 4, 2014

Is That a Baby Bump - Part 2: How To Deal?

This is a follow up post to a very personal post/plea I wrote the yesterday to all of you. If you haven't read it yet, please check it out.

For those of you who know exactly what I am feeling after being very hurt by a comment from another person, what do we do with this hurt?

For me, I have been letting it fester for over a week. I asked my family members if they thought I looked pregnant. I looked in the mirror at my tummy a ridiculous amount of times, judging myself harshly. I told myself to go on a restrictive diet, so I never get asked this question again. I thought about quitting being a personal trainer, so I don't have to constantly try to meet huge expectations to have a perfect trainer body. I probably about drove my husband crazy.

But, none of those things has helped me deal.

I am determined to try something new. I am determined to try to learn something from this and move on.

Here is what I think I have learned. (I say think, because I am always a work in progress)

1. I am not over the perfectionist tendencies I have. I still have a long way to go in giving myself a break.
2. I am very grateful for a loving, supportive husband, who goes ga-ga for my post-baby body.
3. I need to check myself for judgmental, unsupportive thoughts/comments of my own.
4. I need a constant reminder of what is really important in life.
5. I appreciate great friends and family who love, support and encourage me. They are priceless!

I can't allow myself to be buried in hurt every time someone criticizes me. By reminding myself daily of what is really important in life, I hope to guard against insecurities and heal from hurtful words.

How can we do this? Well, I have two ideas and I am hoping you have more!

  • Be thankful. I have a saying up on a wall in my house - "The truly thankful person is a truly peaceful person." If you are feeling thankful, how can you feel insecure, upset, hurt? Doesn't work, does it? Try it. Count just 5 things you are thankful for. Now try to tell me you feel upset. You can't, because you can't possibly feel thankful and negative at the same time.
  • Remind yourself of what you are worth in your Savior's eyes and what He thinks about you (which is really all that matters anyway). Here are a few of my favorite Bible verses that I will be reading over and over again... 

Romans 8:35, 37-39

35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? 
37 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. 38 For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,[b] neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39 neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

 

Psalm 139:13-14


13 For you created my inmost being;
    you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
    your works are wonderful,
    I know that full well.


Proverbs 31:30


30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
    but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.


1 Peter 3:3-4


Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes.Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.
 1 Samuel 16:7b

  The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”


Any other ideas you have for dealing with hurtful comments or insecurities? What would you have done/what have you done when faced with the dreaded question - Is That a Baby Bump?

4 comments:

  1. You are right on, Cara! Our worth comes from God, not from our own society inflicted ideals. God made us each just how He wants us to be. He has a purpose for our lives and it's not to worry about how we look! We should be showing His love to the world and we can start with reminding ourselves how much God loves us just as we are. He loves us so much He sent His son to die in our place, so we can share eternity with God.

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    Replies
    1. I am sure you are right, Rose-Marie! With age, comes wisdom, right? :-)

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