Dear Mama, Enjoy This Season

Sometimes life as a mama is just hard. Sometimes you feel completely drained. Sometimes you feel like you have lost all sense of what makes you, you. Sometimes you just want to quit. Sometimes you just want to move on from this phase of life and get back to your life as it once was.

For me, it is a real struggle to try not to do it all. I have four young kids. I work as a personal trainer for about 12 hours a week. I work at home for about 12 hours a week. And...I have a serious perfectionist problem. These kids are dragging me down, aren't they? Won’t life be better when these kids grow up a bit?

Whether you work at home, work as being a mom 24/7, work outside the home, or do a combination of all of these, I know you have these same feelings too.

What is a mama to do when her tank is empty and she is not finding joy or fulfillment in the here and now? I am writing this letter to myself and to all mamas who need a little encouragement and uplifting today. Hopefully, the next time you feel ready to give up, this letter can give you some of the encouragement you need to keep going!

Dear Mama,

Enjoy this season! Yes, I said enjoy. That means you can find joy in the crazy.

I know your house is endlessly dirty. Your children are driving each other and you crazy. There are dirty cloth diapers stacked up next to the phone. Your daughter may or may not have peed in a cup and drank it. The baby just spit up all over your shirt and pants for the 7th time this morning. Healthy breakfast, lunch and dinner must be made every day. There are weeds taking over your rock beds and garden. You eat a half tray of cookies in a sitting. Laundry is piling up. You forgot to send out a Fathers Day card to your father-in-law. The romance in your marriage is practically non-existent. 

Yes, the work seems never ending. The thanks are mostly non-existent. It is dirty work. It is taxing mentally and emotionally. But this work you are doing is impactful. In a BIG way. Let that sink in for a moment. 

Not only does each word you say affect your children, but each action you show them means even more! 

When you take that deep breath before yelling out all your frustrations, you are teaching them that they can use self-control to calm down too. 

When you make healthy food choices and teach them about the importance of taking care of their bodies, you are helping them establish healthy routines they can use for the rest of their lives. 

When you dance and praise God with your voice, you are letting your light shine and reminding them of their Savior.

When you take the time to look them in the eyes and listen to each word they want to tell you, you are helping them feel comfortable and confident about sharing what is on their mind and heart.

When your eyes light up each time they walk into the room, you are showing them they matter.

When you greet your husband with a kiss, hold your tongue from nagging and show him respect, you are teaching them how to treat their loved ones.

Not only are you serving and impacting these precious gifts each and every day, each and every hour, they are blessing and impacting you. This season of life is short, it is challenging, and it is rewarding.

Those rosy, chunky cheeks will not last forever. Snuggling and giggling about silly little things needs to be treasured. Their wonderment over the simple things in life will be gone before you know it.

So, dear Mama, enjoy this season. Enjoy the times when your children smile lovingly up at you. Enjoy the cooing and giggling from their little mouths. Enjoy the hugs and slobbery kisses. Enjoy the privilege you have to help shape and mold them while they are young. Enjoy the way you are growing in patience, love, and forgiveness. Enjoy the messy faces, messy hands, and cleaning up their messy diapers. Enjoy being needed. Enjoy all their voices shouting, screaming, crying, because all too soon your house will be quiet. Enjoy the chaos and crazy, because inside of all that are your most precious gifts. 

Never forget the words to a favorite song, Where I am Right Now by Jared Anderson

God, Your plan is the best
But my heart is a mess
I’m wondering why You have me here
I’m so ready to be moving on
In my head I’m already gone
But Your voice is crystal clear

I am called to be where I am right now
In the middle of the storm but I have no doubt
You are here with me, You are here with me
And I won’t give in or second guess
I’m trusting You with every step
Father, You are here with me
Where I am right now, where I am right now, where I am right now
Where I am right now, where I am right now, where I am right now

I don’t want to spend a day looking 100 ways
Lord, make me single-minded
Come and be my one desire
And even if my world’s on fire
Make me undivided

And the enemy tells that lie
That I’m missing out on a better life
You know where I need to be
I am Yours and You are mine
You can move me anytime
I’m resting in Your perfect peace
Where I am right now
Where I am right now

© 2014 Integrity Worship Music / Cleveland Boy Music / Meaux Hits & Red Soda Pop (ASCAP)

Go, mama! Get back to loving those little ones!



For more thoughtful reading, check out The Comparing Game and Do You Love Your Kids More Than Your Husband?

I Was There When the Giant Fell Book Review

Three years. That is how long it has taken my dear husband to finish his first novel, I Was There When the Giant Fell. In fact, he changed careers to focus on the writing of this first book and his overall passion for writing. Now that it is finished, he is very excited to share it with all of you! Here is a little taste of what you will read about...

Disrespected. Rejected. Alone.  Join Benaiah as he struggles to prove his worth and make a name for himself until truth surprises him in one of the most famous battles in human history.

During the turbulent and tragic reign of Israel’s first king, Benaiah, an outcast from the village of Pirathon, turns his back on his troubled past and the love of his life and seeks fame and acceptance in the king’s army.  There he faces fears and foes that loom larger than life and experiences one of the most famous battles recorded in Scripture.  When the dust settles will he have the respect he craves and the woman he loves or will he lose all he holds dear?

 I Was There When the Giant Fell imagines a life story for Benaiah of Pirathon, a man mentioned in only 3 verses in the bible. He is listed as one of David’s mighty men. The book follows him as he leaves behind the disrespect and abuse he has experienced in his home town and becomes a soldier in King Saul’s army.  There he experiences firsthand the famous battle between David and Goliath and is forever changed.  Follow him, his girlfriend, Hannah, and his mother, Serah, as they struggle with faith, love, rejection and abuse and seek comfort and strength in the only real God. 

Of course, I was highly anticipating this book, since I have been along for the journey of writing it. As I started reading the final copy, I was completely drawn in. I think I could have read it all in one sitting, but I was reading on my tiny little iPod Touch, and my eyes needed rests. By the time I finished, I told him that I ranked it right up there with some of my absolute favorite Christina fiction books. It was that good! 

Overall, I give this book a big two thumbs up, and I highly recommend it to all teens, women and men. I think you will find inspiration from many of the characters and be able to apply some of the key themes to your own life.

About the Series

Each book in the I Was There… series takes a character who is very briefly mentioned in Scripture and imagines what his or her life might have been like.  I want readers to experience a pivotal moment of Bible history and see it from a new perspective.  In God’s story no one is a minor character—including you and me! We all have a wonderful role to play.  My prayer is that these stories remind you that your life is important to God. I want you to get excited about God’s Word and the story of YOUR salvation.  May God use these books to glorify his name, draw people ever deeper into his word and there, open blind eyes to see the bright reality of God’s undeserved love expressed in his Son, and the world’s only Savior—Jesus Christ.

As you just read above, Adam is planning on writing many books in this series. He has already started on his next book, which will be a take on the familiar Bible story of Jonah and the big fish. So stay tuned...

Adam Nitz is a graduate of Wisconsin Lutheran Seminary, Mequon, WI and a former pastor. He regularly contributes to the website Bread for Beggars. He has always had a love and passion for writing. He lives with his wife and children in North St. Paul, MN. You can learn more about him, his writing and follow his blog at www.adamnitz.com. Also follow Adam on Twitter, Facebook, and Pinterest for the latest updates and news.   

Buy I Was There When the Giant Fell here, on Amazon or find it on Kindle.

Do You Love Your Kids More Than Your Husband?

I have been struggling with this question for the last couple months.

At first thought, my answer was no. Of course, I love my husband. We were "one" even before we had children. I understand how important it is for my kids to see that my husband and I are a stable couple. So, my priority (after God) is my husband, right?

But, despite my confidence in this, the question keeps bugging me. Do I really love my husband MORE than my kids? Or is it the other way around?

Panic starts to set in as I realize...
I spend more time with my kids than I do with my husband. The time I actually do spend with my husband is most often zoning out in front of the TV or a good book after a long day.

I read parenting book after parenting book to try to get this mothering thing just right. But, am I working that hard to figure out how to be a better wife?

I study my children and wrack my brain all day long trying to figure out how to best communicate with them and love them? Have I quit studying my husband?

I spend every ounce of patience I have each day on my children. When my husband comes home, do I have any left for him?

I am more than happy to talk about all the cute or loving things my kids have done lately. But when was the last time I got excited to talk about how great my husband is?

I rush to give my kids hugs and kisses when I have not seen them in a little while. Why don’t I rush to give my husband hugs and kisses after his long workday?

From all outward signs, I actually love my kids more than my husband.

This realization hit me right in the heart. No wonder we have so many misunderstandings. No wonder we don’t have the passion or romance we used to have in our relationship. No wonder I feel like my husband is more of a roommate/partner than my lover and friend.

Many people might not think there is anything wrong with loving their kids more than their husband. From surveys I have seen, most women do, in fact, love their children more and are happy to admit it. Some of you might be outraged that I am even trying to fix this "problem" in my life. Our children are the only thing we leave behind when we die, right? We better put all the effort and love that we have into them, right?

Well, as I have spent time thinking about this, my personal thought is a great, big "NO!" One of the greatest lessons you can teach your children is that they are loved by you and your husband as a couple, allowing them to feel stable and confident in their family.

My struggle is this... What kind of love can compare to that of a mother’s love the first time she sees her baby? How can a husband compete with the bond of mother and child? When you spend almost all day every day with your children bonding and making memories, how can the hour or two at the end of a day with your husband compete with that?

It is not easy, but nothing worthwhile is easy, is it? It takes serious commitment from both you and your husband - hence the "till death do us part" promises you made. Whatever it takes, I am willing to work harder to love my husband at least as much as I love my children. Not that I will love my children less, but I will work to increase my efforts and make him more of a priority in my life. It is the least I can do for my stud-muffin husband. :-)

Here are a few ideas on how to get back on track with loving your husband just as much as you love your children:

•  Try not to have many expectations. They kill relationships. Don’t expect him to be romantic. Don’t expect him to comfort you when you are upset. Don’t expect him to love you all the time. Let God do all that. Let God comfort you, love you perfectly, make you feel like a million bucks every minute of every day. Your husband cannot be perfect. God is perfect.

• Live gratefully. Constantly think of all the reasons you love your husband and are grateful for him. For me, it always comes back to thinking about "What would I do if he died at work today? Where would I be without him?" Try it. See? Instantly grateful. 

•  Make the most of every moment you have together (and I am preaching to myself the most right here). I know at the end of the day the last thing you might want to do is try to come up with stimulating conversation with your husband. It might be easy to only talk/argue about money, to-dos, children, etc., but try to use this time to reconnect and keep learning about each other. I love asking my husband questions or having mini-dates in. Here are some other great ideas for connecting that I have on my Pinterest page.

•  Continue to grow as a person and grow in your faith. When you can bring the best of yourself to your marriage, it is a lot easier to connect. If you are super stressed, super needy, always tired, grouchy, or whatever it is, it will be much harder to have a healthy relationship with someone else. 

Those are just a few ideas. I know you have more. Please share with us your thoughts on this article and your ideas for how to make your spouse more of a priority!

Remember, your kids will grow up and move out. But your husband is your partner for the rest of your days. Love him! 

Do You Want to Be Hands Free?

"Mom, can you come here?"

"Just a second..."
More than a second later....
"Mom, CAN YOU COME HERE?"

"Yes, just let me finish this one thing." (really meaning let me finish these 5 things I am doing at the same time)
More than the time it takes to finish one little thing...
"MOM, ARE YOU COMING????" (in a whiny, crying voice or sassy, infuriated voice)

Has this conversation ever happened in your home?

Sadly, it has happened in our home more times than I can count. Way too often, I let technology, multi-tasking or helping others besides my family get in the way of being present and helping my own family.

Yes, I am a multi-tasker, which I used to think was a good thing. Now, I realize that multi-tasking is not all that it is cracked up to be. While I am typing away on the computer, listening to Christian music in the background, trying to stop an argument between my little girls, stir supper every couple minutes, and listen to my son practice piano, I am so distracted that I am not giving any of those things my full attention, AND I am stressing myself out in the meantime.

When did it get cool to have never-ending to-do lists and jam-packed schedules? When did "I am SO stressed!" become the thing to say?

Thankfully, no matter what damage may have already been done, this isn’t the way it has to be.

We can go back to sitting and doing nothing sometimes...and it being okay. We can cut out too many extra-curricular activities and still enjoy life. We can slowwwww down, doing one thing at a time and start to find those joyful, meaningful moments hidden throughout the whole day. We can get back to what matters most!

Thankfully, in my journey to slow down, become more grateful, and be a more present participant in my life, I was sent, Hands Free Mama by Rachel Macy Stafford to review. Not only has this book helped me develop strategies to find more balance in my life, it has helped me appreciate each and every moment of my days!

In July 2010, special education teacher and mother Rachel Macy Stafford decided enough was enough. Tired of losing track of what matters most in life, Rachel began practicing simple strategies that enabled her to momentarily let go of largely meaningless distractions and engage in meaningful soul-to-soul connections. She started a blog to chronicle her endeavors and soon saw how both external and internal distractions had been sabotaging her happiness and preventing her from bonding with the people she loves most.

Hands Free Mama is the digital society’s answer to finding balance in a media-saturated, perfection-obsessed world. It doesn’t mean giving up all technology forever. It doesn’t mean forgoing our jobs and responsibilities. What it does mean is seizing the little moments that life offers us to engage in real and meaningful interaction. It means looking our loved ones in the eye and giving them the gift of our undivided attention, leaving the laundry till later to dance with our kids in the rain, and living a present, authentic, and intentional life despite a world full of distractions.

So join us and go hands-free! Discover what happens when you choose to open your heart---and your hands---to the possibilities of each God-given moment.

Cara was provided this book to review from Booksneeze. No other compensation was given. All opinions expressed are 100% her own.

Friday Fun!

Living healthy natural lives is not always the easiest thing, which is why I started my blog - to inspire and help others live their best life healthfully and naturally. Friday Fun is my way of sharing a bit of my life with you, my readers and friends, and I hope you will be willing to share your thoughts and ideas with me too.

So, here we go!

In my life this week...
I have always been honest with you all, and I will be honest again this week.

This has been one. rough. week.

There have been some ups - my husband has gotten to be in his own truck at work, instead of always riding with someone else and I got to see a neighborhood friend I have been missing - and there have been a lot of downs - too much work for both of us, struggling to connect as husband and wife, dealing with how to trust my son after I found out he has been lying to me over and over again, financial setbacks, all helped create a massive migraine yesterday.

I spent most of the night last night in prayer, crying out all the unshed tears that I have needed to cry the last week. While it felt good to finally open up the floodgates and express my weakness to the One who always loves me and is there for me, it was a very low, lonely-feeling night. I am trusting in God to get me through the next week until my husband has a few days off. That is what I cling to.

I am inspired by...
Bible verses, devotions, and songs of praise. When I feel like I am stuck in a pit of darkness, this is what we always have. God's arms are always open.

My favorite thing this week was...
Little moments of joy - my daughter telling me she is picking up the eggshells left from hard-boiled eggs at breakfast and throwing them away, my son telling me that he appreciates all I do for him, seeing a friend at story time at the Library, giving a little more than my job as a personal trainer entails for a client.

What's working/not working for me...
Working - Well, like I said, I feel like not a lot. But, when I start counting my blessings, I get a little more perspective. I have a healthy body. My heart is beating. My legs are working. I can care for my family well. My husband is a good husband and father when he is around. I have shelter from these cold fall nights. I have everything I really need.

Not working - Rest time. There has been little to none for my husband and I. It is very noticeable.

Questions/thoughts I have...
Why do I push myself so hard?

I'm reading...
Another new book, I can't remember the title by Lynn Austen, Encouragement for Today Devotional by Proverbs 31 Team,  Creative Correction by Lisa Whelchel, lots of children's books!

I'm cooking...
Baked salmon, baked sweet potato fries, Roasted Chicken, Secret Sliders (recipe will be up next week), Spaghetti Squash and meat sauce, Cauliflower Breadsticks and Marinara, Black Bean Tacos on Ezekial Tortillas

I'm grateful for...
the things I mentioned above and I could go on and on, a God who listens and answers my prayers, warm bed to sleep in at night, white willow bark to ease my migraine, a job I love, a family I would die for, and so much more!

A photo, video, link, or quote to share...

This video/song has brought me goosebumps over and over again. Today, even a few tears. I have watched it like 20 times in the last two days. Please enjoy!

http://www.godvine.com/This-is-One-A-Capella-Hymn-You-HAVE-to-Listen-to-You-ll-Be-Stunned--3994.html

Encouragement For Today

I don't know what I would do without my quiet time during my kids' nap time. All you mothers, fathers and caretakers know exactly what I am talking about. It is one of the only times of the day it is quiet in my house. Ahhhh...peace. I like to use that time to read my devotion, pray, and try to relax and find my sanity again.

My devotional of choice for many months was Unglued by Lysa TerKeurst. I read it over and over again because it was so awesome and had such an impact on my attitude and faith. Thankfully, now Lysa and her friends from the Proverbs 31 team have come out with a new devotional, Encouragement for Today.

Written by the P31 team whose daily devotion reaches over 1 million women every day, this book will help a woman know she is not alone in her every day struggles.

For twenty years the women at Proverbs 31 Ministries has equipped and encouraged nearly a million women to live in the power of God’s truths that apply to every step of life. Here, the Proverbs 31 team offers 100 devotions of wit, wisdom, and encouragement to help women pull away from the things that pull them down and find lasting encouragement for today.

Written by women from every walk of life, readers will find inspiration to live authentically and fully grounded in the Word of God. The P31 Team shares from the realities of everyday life including highs and lows, humorous stories, and tender moments as they draw readers toward the truths God offers.

Hopeful. Down-to-earth. Relevant. Trustworthy. Each day includes Scripture, a devotion, a Reflect, Respond, and Remember, and a Power Verse. Ultimately, women will find comfort in the realization that they are not alone in their day-to-day doubts, disappointments, questions, fears, hopes, dreams, and struggles, and that they will be able to rise above and become all God created them to be.

I love that each devotion is short enough to read in a couple minutes, but it offers more than a typical devotion. There are suggested Bible passages, a prayer, plus a Remember, Reflect and Respond section to go with each devotion. Each devotion has really hit me hard and strengthened my faith. I am very thankful for every one of these devotions and the women who wrote them! I highly recommend this book for all of you!

Cara received this book free from the publisher through the BookSneeze.com® book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own.