Saying YES, and Saying NO

It's not that easy, is it?  When something requires your response, it often only requires that one syllable, easy to form, in your mouth word: Yes, or No.   But, as parents, spouses, community members, and friends, it isn't that easy, is it? 

There is a little and a lot of thought that goes behind our responses.  We are asked to make hundreds of YES/NO decisions every day.   From the seemingly simple, "MOM.....can I have my 5th popsicle in a row?" (um, NO) to the ones that challenge our intellect and pride: "Will you start a parent group in our area, please?" (ummmmmm....I still haven't answered that one). It's not that hard; we are in charge, and our experiences will guide our decisions.  In other words, we know what we are doing...  So why write a post about YES and NO?  We all get it, right?  Well, this week, it occurred to me, with some help from a leadership seminar, that

EVERY TIME WE SAY YES TO ONE THING, WE SAY NO TO SOMETHING ELSE.......

Think about it...."Yes, you can have that 5th popsicle," really is saying, "No, I don't want you to have a healthy body."  Well, that example is pretty easy.....we have our own reason for YES/NO in this situation. (Ok, I would say YES at certain times here, too).   What happens when someone approaches you and asks for a really big thing?   You and I both know what happens...."Will you start a parent support group?"   You are thinking:  Who, me?  Wow, you mean somebody noticed that I am really good at something, like to help others, am organized, and am great at building relationships? We need that group in our area, so you answer....Yes...Not so fast!  You hold up...you stop....you don't have to answer this right now....you give a quick, "I will think about it," and move on.   How do you answer this?  So you think about it. This is where it gets tough. 

Someone needs something from you, and they asked. How can you say no?  Here's what you need to consider too:  When and if I say YES to this, what am I saying NO to?  Is it my family, my health (like your time at fitness class), or are you ok with giving up some TV or book time?   My point is not to make you say NO to everything, but rather, I just want you to know, my busy, busy, good hearted, cheerful, always-do-good friend, that it is OK to say NO (or YES).   

This little concept has helped me all week.....my health choices have been a lot better.   When faced with food cravings, and potential bad choices, I have asked myself repeatedly, "When I say YES, what am I saying NO to?  It sure made me say NO to those brownies, when I realized saying YES meant saying NO to my health!