The Shadow of Mommy

As much as I love my kids so dearly.
As much as I love my husband so much.
As much as I crumble when people yell at me. Or even say one mean word.
I have found myself doing it.

The noise level in our house has been higher than normal. Or at least it seemed to me. I found myself asking why. Why are the kids so loud? Why are they yelling? Why are they having an attitude with me and each other?

And as hard as it is to swallow, the answer, at least in part, is me. See - that’s the cool thing about parenting. Your kids teach you a lot. They are soaking up what you are doing. They are like little copy cats. And this time - what they’re copying doesn’t make me proud at all.

They’re copying my yelling. They’re copying how I deal with stress, frustration, being overwhelmed.

When this truth hit me like a hard stone, I won’t lie, it hurt. But I know I’m not the only one. Being a mom or dad is hard. Beyond hard sometimes. And if you’ve found yourself yelling or losing it when overwhelmed, I get you mama (or daddy). I know you feel guilty. I know you regret it. I know you love your kids. I know you are doing your best.

None of us is perfect. But we have an amazing God and Father who is! Because He loves us so much, we are forgiven. You are forgiven. I am forgiven.

Each day is a new day. And I’m on a journey to be a more patient, peaceful mom. I’m cutting down on multi-tasking so I don’t get overwhelmed so easily. I’m getting down at eye-level and treasuring their little faces and emotions instead of being impatient. I’m making my own self-care a priority so I’m not empty with little to give when much is needed. I’m apologizing, asking for forgiveness.

It’s a journey for sure. Good days, bad moments. Trying again. But as I’ve started hearing my daughter speak to her brother in the kind loving way I’ve been using with her, it brings tears to my eyes and fills my heart with SO MUCH joy!

The journey is hard, but so rewarding, isn’t it? We’re in this together friend!

Homeschooling With Math Games - Part 2

Yesterday we chatted about using math games to help your child develop a love of math. Instead of sitting, listening to lecturing and doing worksheets, let's get them using math skills in every day life situations and through fun games!

Today I want to share another super fun game with you - this time it is all about multiplication. And let's face it - multiplication is normally just a bunch of memorizing math facts. It usually involves flash cards or some other "boring" type of activity.

Not with this multiplication game! Monster Sock Factory is a board game to practice multiplication mainly for grades 2 and up. It is designed to get kids 8 times more practice in their multiplication facts than in an average classroom.

The game starts with this cute story about the different monsters in this faraway land of Dimis, each with a different amount of legs and how you are working at the local sock factory to make and dispatch socks to each one. Each individual cartoon monster is kinda cute and makes the game more fun and activates the imagination a bit, at least for my kiddos. Your kids will also be working on strategic planning, hand-eye coordination, patience and memorization as they play this game.

And you're going to love this - the same company that makes this game offers FREE math worksheets for division, multiplication and more for grades 1-5. I am so excited to get these printed off and feed my kiddos excitement for the fun characters and story lines.

Grab your kiddo a new math game and start having fun with them while practicing a bunch of relevant skills.

Share with me - what are you doing with your kiddos to make Math fun?

*I was given product to review. No other compensation was given. All opinions are my own.

Homeschool Fun with Math Games

I don't know about you but I was never very passionate about math. I get excited about reading, history, even science, but math - nuh, uh.

My son is the same way. He struggles with it more than other subjects which has turned him off to math as a whole. Since I am homeschooling him this year, I am determined to help him and my other children develop a love  like (let's be realistic, right?) for this subject.

One of the ways I am going to be doing this is by having them do more life math skills and play more games that involve using math. Instead of them just listening to me lecture and then doing worksheets - I hope to bring math to life for them!

We recently got a fantastic math division game called Big Catch. It's a division board game for students of grade 3 and up. It is designed to get them 8 times more division practice than in your typical classroom in a FUN way!

My son was super duper excited to try it out. He loved all the bright colors and fun game pieces. He has a bit of practice to get the long division down to really get the game mastered, but he is excited to do so, and that is huge progress! This games makes you the fisherman and gives you a fun adventure to distract you from all the awesome math skills you are developing. It also helps you develop skills of patience, strategic planning, and flexibility.

Also - big bonus - the same company that makes this game offers FREE math worksheets for division, multiplication and more for grades 1-5. I am so excited to get these printed off and feed my kiddos excitement for the fun characters and story lines.

Check back in with me tomorrow for another fun math game that you and your kids will love!

In the meantime - tell me - what do you do with your kiddos to get them excited about math or any other subject they struggle with?

*I received product to review. No other compensation was given. These are all my real and honest opinions.

Is the Art of Letter Writing Dead?

I remember the days of writing my pen pals letters and waiting hopefully by the mailbox for a possible letter from a dear friend. These days I mostly get junk in my mailbox. It's on essential oil delivery day that I get most excited to get the mail.☺ To be honest, I don't even remember the last time I received a hand written letter.

Personally, I am not that great at setting aside the time to send hand written letters either. However, in the last year or so I have tried to resurrect the art of letter writing, and I try to send out a couple of items of "happy mail" each month. I have received multiple blessings from this - friendships strengthened, business growth, encouragement received at the perfect time, and I know my friends and family smile every time they get to open and read a hand-written note. It makes you feel special to know someone took the time out of their busy lift to sit down, think of you, and write you a letter.

While yes, it does take a bit more time than shooting off a text or email, I think it means a lot to the receivers of the mail, and it has been fun to pick out cute cards, thank yous, and invitations to send and teach my kids how to send and address real mail.

What about you? Do you send snail mail or do you think the art of the hand-written letter is dying or dead?

*This is a sponsored post. Thank you to Paperless Post for inspiring these thoughts.

Are Baby Gates Really Just Baby Gates for Stairs?

This is a sponsored post. All content is 100% my own thoughts and emotions. 

As I am sure you know, I am the mother of four beautiful children. After having my fourth 20 months ago, I realized how much my health had been suffering. Since then, I have been trying to nourish my body and bring it back to optimal health. One of the decisions my husband and I made along the way was that it would not be wise for us to have any more children, or at least not for a long time. Bam. End of an era. No more babies.

This was and is really hard for my mama heart to digest.

Finally I got up the courage to have a garage sale and get rid of all the baby stuff. However, I noticed the other day, I somehow forgot the baby gate - yep, as in baby gates for stairs. I walk past this gate 100 times a day, but somehow I have had no desire to remove it now that all my children can safely walk down stairs. Why is that? Is this baby gate more than just a baby gate for me? Is it a symbol of the end of a decade of baby-loving? Am I in denial that my baby is not a baby anymore?

If I am honest with myself, I would answer 100% yes.

Those precious moments right after birth, the days of snuggling and baby drool, a little head falling asleep against your beating heart, the sweet baby smiles, the firsts - first roll over, first time sitting up, first steps, first high five, these are the things I am desperately trying to hang onto for every precious second.

As my youngest grows up and my oldest grows up even more, I have to accept that we are moving to a new phase of life. And it is okay to shed some tears. It is okay to miss the baby moments. It is even okay to let the baby gate stay up for longer than it is necessary.

If you are struggling to move onward from the baby stage, move into the school age or move into the empty nest stage, it is okay. Give yourself some grace, let the tears flow, feel the emotions that go along with taking steps forward into new territory, and enjoy every moment with your precious family because these are the moments you all will remember forever.

3 Great Books to Read Your Child Today!

Reading to your children is one of the best ways to help them to develop a love for reading. As a homeschooling mom and former teacher, I have seen children's faces light up time after time when they are being read to.

The three books I want to share with you today are some of the best out there, and you will see why soon!

Wild Ones: Observing City Critters by Carol L. Malnor is a fabulous book for helping children learn about the nature around them - even if they live in the city. Wild ones are moving into the city! Follow the adorable, curious dog Scooter as he travels through an urban landscape, seeing many wild animals and not seeing even more. The charming illustrations draw upon real-life city scenes from across the United States. In the back of the book, there are many fun ideas you can do after finishing the book or after reading it for the 100th time. The activities are both informational and fun - the best way to learn!

Now we are heading out of town to the farm! Over on the Farm by Marianne Berkes is a fun trip without leaving your home. Welcome to the farm, where pigs roll, goats nibble, horses gallop, hens peck, and turkeys strut! Count, clap, and sing along to the classic tune of “Over in the Meadow” while learning about life on a classic farm. This book is just a fun adventure! The illustrations are so enjoyable and interesting to look at and study - your kids will ask to read it over and over again. At the end of the book, you can find songs, music and movement, science, math, language arts connections and so much more. This book is a valuable treasure you will definitely come back to.

One of the best ways to get your child to eat healthy food is to get them to be a part of it - from growing it to cooking it. Green Bean! Green Bean! by Patricia Thomas will get your child all excited about these green veggies. A freckled-faced young gardener opens a packet of seeds. And the magic begins! This books takes you through the growing season—from a sprout peeking out, to a curlicue catching dew, to a vine twining on a line, until finally . . . GREEN BEANS! It’s time to harvest a full season of garden knowledge and experience. Along the way the young gardener discovers a nook to read a book in the shade of growing beans. Again, the illustrations are beautiful paintings that will capture your attention on each page. At the back of the book, make sure to look for the life cycle science and related vocabulary, instructions on growing your own green beans, and a variety of fun things for children to do. This book encourages young gardeners to put their toes in the soil and get their own gardens growing.

Each one of these books is so much more than just a fun story. These are adventure books full of learning and excitement and fun activities! Get reading!

What is your favorite book to read to your child(ren)?

Thanks to Dawn Publications for these beautiful books for review. No other compensation was given. All opinions expressed are my own.

Surprise Ride Giveaway!

As a mom of four children, I realize how much joy you can find in the little things - things like getting a surprise box in the mail that gets you and your children excited to do a new, fun project together!

That is exactly what we found when we received our Surprise Ride monthly box. 

Surprise Ride is a subscription service that sends kids ages 6-11 fun and educational hands-on activities that foster creativity and imagination! The company was started by two sisters Donna and Rosy, and they have been working hard to create a lasting impact on the lives of children, beyond the latest toys or technologies.

My daughter was so excited to open up this Surprise Ride package addressed right to her! 

This month the theme was art and Picasso!

 They included all the supplies we needed to make a painting masterpiece! Plus, they also included beads, bead board and wax paper to make a Picasso-Style face.

 They also included extra goodies: a cube puzzle, artist apron, Pablo Picasso book, and beet chips snack (since beets are a natural dye you can use to make paint).

The best part about Surprise Ride is all the learning that happens while you are having fun with your child(ren). I believe there is no better way to learn than by hands-on activities, and that is exactly what Surprise Ride offers.

With a Surprise Ride monthly subscription, every month you get to learn about something new! This would be make a fantastic gift for your child. To give your child a year of Surprise Ride would give you both something to look forward to throughout the entire year. Plus, it offers you a way to connect in an educational way, have fun together, and make lots of great memories!

Great news! We are offering (1) of our lucky readers a chance to win their own Surprise Ride box! Enter below for your chance.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Thanks to Surprise Ride for sending this box for review. No other compensation was given. All opinions are my own. 

Happy New Year From Us

15 Fun Facts About 2015 With the Nitz Family

 

1.     Our sweet baby Ashton Benaiah was born at home on January 6^th. If you are interested in the whole story: click here. He came a whopping 3 weeks past the due date, but that was no surprise to us. He is just as stubborn as his siblings.  Now he is walking and chatting up a storm.

2.    We had a great trip to the Black Hills – seeing Wind Cave, Mt. Rushmore, Crazy Horse, Needles Highway, Bear Country, Spearfish Canyon. We also had fun panning for gold, hiking Harney Peak (Malachi, Ashton, Adam and I), getting close enough to buffalo to touch them, and playing with Biebert family that went along.

3.    Besides hiking Harney Peak all by himself, Malachi has had a lot of fun stuff going on this year. As a second grader, he is learning more responsibility. He has a hard time concentrating on other things when he could be reading a book or throwing a football, so we are working on being responsible about homework and picking up after himself. He loves his Green Bay Packers, his family, and his Savior. 

4.    Kailana has been enjoying doing preschool at home with mommy. She is just like a mini-me! From teaching fitness classes to her dollies and sister, Brynn, to taking care of little brother, Ashton, like he is her own, she sure is a little mommy already. She CANNOT wait to get to Kindergarten next year, but I cannot even imagine my days without her.

5.    Brynn brings a lot of laughter and drama with her wherever she goes. While she still seems to carry that Terrible 2 attitude around with her, she also has a very hilarious side. She sure knows how to make us laugh. She also started a new Sunday School class that she can attend without her mommy, but she still requests I stay with her, which is just fine by me!

6.    We had a huge garden and an especially large amount of pumpkins! The kids helped out a little more with the picking and weeding, and they were overjoyed to see how much food came from just tiny seeds.

7.    We were able to take another longer trip as a family to visit Grandma and Grandpa Nitz in Nebraska. It was nice to see cousins and family there, while we celebrated the 4^th of July. 

8.    Adam and I had the police pull us over in our own yard. Turns out, our neighbors called the police on us for walking in our own yard. Scandalous! 

9.    We started having a family coloring night once a week. The kids love doing their very best and it is very relaxing – that is, when Ashton isn’t eating crayons, ripping up someone’s paper, or screaming. 

10.  Adam is still working like a mad man. He gets up very early each day to write his second book, I Was There When Jonah Was Lost. Then he works 11-12 hour days as a plumber. On top of all that, he has to deal with me. Ha! Biggest job of all!

11.  Adam and I, along with my sister Marissa and her husband Josh went to the TobyMac concert last month. It was awesome energy and music!

12.  I had a blast planning the 4th annual Biebert Thanksgiving Scavenger Hunt. We did a photo scavenger hunt, with a few more ideas on ways we could serve others. Needless to say, we were writing down a lot of encouraging notes as fast as possible. 

13.  I have been continuing work as a personal trainer at the Maplewood Community Center, working in my several health and wellness businesses, and just began as the social media director for Attention Era Media. They are all things I love, so it is a balance being a full-time mommy and doing extra things. 

14.  One of our favorite places is…surprise, surprise…the library! I take the girls and Ashton there every week for story time and to pick out books for the whole family. We got a new children’s librarian this year, so there were a few tears shed when Miss Tammi went to a different library.

15.  The girls are now sharing a room. They chat into who knows what time of night, but I know these are memories they will always treasure.

Happy New Year to all of you! We wish you many blessings and many wonderful moments in 2016!

Essential Oil Q + A: How and Why To Use Them

While I have had a long standing, loving relationship with essential oils as you can see here, here and especially here, I had been using them without a huge amount of expertise and only as situations arose that I needed them.

Several weeks ago, Audra Bassett, my wonderful friend with a lot more know-how about oils that I have, wondered if I might be interested in learning more about essential oils and using them on a more regular basis. Learn more about something natural and healthy? Of course!

She sent me this fabulous book, The Essential Oil Truth - The Facts Without the Hype by Jen O'Sullivan, which I read in about a day or two and then re-read several times after. From there, I started using oils and oil blends daily with my whole family. I am super excited to share what I have learned with YOU!

I am going to be doing a three-part essential oils series. Today is the first part, answering your questions about how and why to use them.

Let's get started:

Question #1 - Why would I use essential oils?

I could give you about a million reasons. The biggest and best is because we are in a bit of a health crisis in our country. Much of that is due to unhealthy lifestyles, scary ingredients in the majority of products sold, and people being handed out quick fixes that mask the problem. Symptoms are our bodies way of telling us there is something wrong. When we try to get rid of them with a quick chemical fix that has a slew of side effects, instead of dealing with what is really wrong with our bodies, it often just gets worse and worse.

Oils are different. They are natural - from plants. They are safe. They are effective. And they smell sooooo good. As a mom of four with a lot of responsibilities, I feel comfortable using oils to help myself, my hubby and my children stay healthy.

Question #2 - What are essential oils? Are they safe?

An essential oil is a liquid that is generally distilled from the leaves, stems, flowers, bark, roots, or other elements of a plant. Essential oils are the life-force of the plant, much like our blood. They are highly concentrated, and you only need a little to go a long way. They have been used for centuries, not just for their beautiful natural scent, but for their antibacterial healing properties as well. I love using them for anything from headaches to stomachaches, from an air purifier to hand sanitizer.

They are safe when used properly for people and animals. I recommend that you always start out with a very small amount along with a carrier oil, such as coconut oil or olive oil. Apply a bit to your skin and see how your body reacts. Always do your own research and be responsible. I do not personally ingest essential oils, but if you do, MAKE SURE you use only the very best quality and be very informed about that choice.

Basically, essential oils are natural and very very safe, especially when compared to the alternatives - pharmaceuticals, prescription drugs, etc. But again, I cannot stress this enough - make sure you use only the very best quality.

Questions #3 - How do you use essential oils safely?

See my note on how to use them safely in the above question. But to expand on that, let me share with you the ways I use them. Here is a different post I wrote sharing how I use essential oils.

Oils can be used in three different methods: topically, aromatically, and internally.

Topically - This is applying the oil onto our skin. Oils can either be applied undiluted (neat), or with a carrier oil (which slows absorption). Always follow the directions on the label, and when in doubt, dilute. If any burning occurs or you get it in your eyes, never try to was it away with water. Oil and water don’t mix! “Wash” it off by adding more carrier oil.

Aromatherapy - This is inhalation of the oils. You can use a diffuser (pictured below), place your head over a steaming bowl of water with a few drops added, or directly inhale from your hands or the bottle. When doing so, you trigger aromareceptors, triggering chemical responses in the body.

Internally - This is through direct absorption of the digestive tract. Like I said before, I personally choose not to do this one. I may try it once in a great while, but have not decided to do that at the present time. Surely do NOT ingest any oil that does not say that it can be used as a dietary supplement right on the label. Again, do your own research and make informed decisions. Make sure you know where your oils are grown and how they are handled all the way to the bottle.

Question #4 - Which brand is the best? Why?

I have tried out many brands and you have probably seen me talk about them on my blog throughout the past 7 years. There is one company that I have used throughout my entire time using essential oils - Young Living. They were my first love, and after looking very, very closely at the differences between essential oil companies, I am now ready to say they are my only love.

Let me share with you why.

Did you know that you only need 5% pure essential oil in a bottle to claim it is 100% pure? Unfortunately, that is totally true. So while the labels on that grocery store brand may spout they are "100% pure" it is not what you are expecting in that bottle. Typically it's a little essential oil, and up to 95% additives, fillers, and synthetics - things that will lower the price and quality and result in you needing to use more, or worse, having a reaction to the "other 95%" they added to that bottle. You may notice the other labels say "for inhalation or aromatherapy use only". This means you shouldn't even put those brands on your skin. Some other brands will smell good and work wonders for your needs, but personally, I choose the brand that goes beyond smelling good, and has been tested for use beyond aromatherapy.

Just like I choose high-quality, organic nourishing foods for my body, I want to choose high-quality, organic nourishing oils for my body. I like to know as much about things that go on, in or around my body as I possibly can. My tips for you when choosing essential oils are:

• know where the company grows their crops

• know what they use to fertilize and treat the crops

• know their harvest process

• know their distillation process

• know EXACTLY what they are putting in that bottle

When I use Young Living, I know I am getting the purest essential oil in that bottle, nothing more. No additives, no synthetics, just pure, essential oil goodness. In fact, they have a Seed to Seal Guarantee that is unmatched by any competitor. That is why they work.

P.S. Did you know you can even go to Young Living's farms and help plant, harvest and distill crops? Yup, you can watch and be a part of the ENTIRE process. I think that just rocks!

Not all brands are created equal, and it is up to individuals to determine what is best for their family based on the research they are aware of. Do your research, no matter which oils you choose, make sure you know exactly what is in that bottle and be confident in using it on yourself and your family.

Let me know if I can answer more of your questions or guide you in your essential oil journey. I am here to help! If you would like to be added to a free, educational resource full of people sharing how they use oils, ask to join the Hello Essentials. It is one of my favorite places to go to get ideas about how others are using their oils and what they love about them. Everyone is so positive and helpful. I just love it! (And no, nobody will be trying to sell you anything!) You can tell them that I (Cara Nitz) sent you over.

Next post, I will be talking about how oils have helped me when I am suffering from stress and headaches. Stay tuned...

6 Ideas to Rejuvenate Your Marriage When You Have Young Children

Marriage...I remember the days my hubby and I used to go out on dates whenever we felt like it. Romance was in the air. We made out like teenagers. Fast forward four kids later, and the picture is quite different. In fact, we are in desperate need of a relationship makeover.

If you can relate and are committed to taking steps to improve your relationship, you will love the ideas I am sharing today. While I am no expert in marriage, I am on my own personal journey to rekindle my relationship with my hubby and get some romance back in our marriage.

1. First things first. Get interested in your spouse again. What makes them tick? What are they struggling with in life right now? What excites them? What means the most to them? Interests? Hobbies? You get my point. Get a degree in learning about your spouse - maybe you need to start with just a grade school diploma in learning about your spouse or maybe you are already at the college level. No matter how much you know, you can always learn more.

2. Know their love language. This is one thing you will hopefully learn from #1. What is a love language? It is how someone most feels loved. My personal love language is kind of a tie between quality time and gifts. My husband's love language is words of affirmation. Often, we love others with our own love language, because we know it makes us feel special. But, when you learn to speak your spouse's love language, it can have a much greater impact on helping them feel special. I can speak from experience on this one. When my hubby and I learned each others' love language, it was a game-changer.

3. Date night in. When you have little kids, it costs a lot to have a date night out. Not only does it cost a lot of money, it costs a lot of stress. If you are still breastfeeding, like I am, then it can really become a pain in the butt. I know it is not nearly as fun as getting out of the house and away from any chance of kid interruptions, but sometimes it is a necessity. When you do not have access to many babysitters or do not have the funds, you can still have a fun date night in. This weekend, I am going to attempt this. Here are a few ideas I am using this weekend:

• waiting until after the kids go to bed to have my hubby's favorite dinner: pizza. Recently, Smart Flour Foods sent me their new pizza varieties. We are excited to try them this weekend! These are not your average frozen pizzas either. Made with an ancient-grain based crust and certified gluten free, each pizza is free of preservatives and artificial ingredients, made with real mozzarella and provolone cheese that is free of rGBH (recombinant Bovine Growth Hormone), and topped with hand-selected uncured meats that are free of nitrites and nitrates. It is always a bonus when your splurge is a healthier splurge.
• feed each other - sounds weird. I am an adult. I can feed myself. But let's try it. It might be romantic, or at least funny.
• grab a blanket and head to the backyard for some stargazing and...maybe some other fun.
• color together. We do this as a family, but you could do it with just your spouse. Plenty of time for good conversation and a great way to relieve stress.

4. Kiss each other even when you do not feel like it. Okay, mommies, so you have been tugged on, pinched, kissed and hugged by your kids all day. You may not want anywhere near you at all. While we do need some space and time alone, your husband will love it if you just lay one on him. And I mean, love it! You may not feel it right away, but maybe as you start kissing, you won't want to stop. :-)

5. Forgive as you would like to be forgiven. Yes, I know it is hard to move past the fact that your spouse just did that thing you hate for the 4,000th time. I know it is easy to say I would never do that. But, we do. We do annoy our spouses. We say and do things that really hurt them. We are selfish. We hurt them intentionally and unintentionally. And we can't move past these things if we are not forgiven. Marriage will crumble without forgiveness by each person. Love as you want to be loved.

6. Love your spouse as much as or more than you love your kids.  Check out the post, Do You Love Your Kids More than Your Husband, for more thoughts on this critical one.

That is just the beginning. What are your ideas for keeping your marriage a priority with all those littles running around?